Saturday, July 30, 2005

Ponch and John Are Go

It's the theme from CHiPs done by Corniche. Wow, he's got one name. That commands respect. sounds like something you store food in. The flip side of the theme song is called "California Hustle." Perhaps that was the song they used when Ponch did his fabulous disco dancing.

Bionic Action Club...yup, gonna get me some bionic action

The Six Million Dollar Man Bionic Action Club? Where do I sign up?! The coupon says for 50 cents you get a membership card, membership certificate, decals and an autographed color photo of Colonel Steve Austin. It's funny that you get the tv characters signature and not the actors signature. Also, if I was a kid, I'd think that I would get all the neat stuff pictured if I joined the club. Damn them!!'s not just for hayseeds anymore

Remember when you couldn't even walk down the street due to hordes of kids roaming the neighborhoods selling Grit? Nah, me neither. My mom wouldn't let me invest in a future as a Grit salesman because she said that no one would buy it. Since I've never seen a copy in anyone's house, I suspect she was right. Actually, has anyone even seen a copy of Grit?

Don't Fly Airport '77

Holy moly! Airport '77 is a novel based on a screenplay inspired by a novel. Now that's messed up!

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Bay City Rollers Kissing Kit

I don't know what I was expecting when I ordered this, but it certainly wasn't the complete and utter disappointment I got when I received this doublesided 17" x 22"poster. This is probably the lamest thing I have ever purchased. Even the photos aren't cute - they all look like they are having a bad hair day!

These two pictures are the other side of the poster. I especially like how each Roller tells us about the type of girl he wants to date. Les says, "I'm the type of person thats in love with love". Sounds romantic when you're an innocent little teenager, but what it really means is that it doesn't matter who you are because once that inital rush fades, he's searching for it with someone else. He was my favorite too. Oh Les, how you'd break my heart!

And no, I never kissed this thing. Look at could I? Their heads aren't even the size of my fist. I think I would have been happier if the kissing kit had been 8x10s of their faces that I could pin on my wall and kiss goodnight before dreaming about being Mrs. Les McKeown.

William Shatner is Artemus Gordon

The Barbary Coast was on From September 1975 to January 1976. Doug McClure was a conman and gambler. William Shatner was a government agent and master of disguise. Together they teamed up to outsmart criminals and stop enemy agents from dastardly deeds. I loved this show. In fact, I loved it even more the first time around when it was called Wild Wild West.

Dracula, Please Call Mrs. Kerney

I looked forward to the book fairs we had every year in grade school. This is Bram Stoker's Dracula adapted for kids. Inside are creepy illustrations done in black and purple! I loaned this to a friend shortly after I got it. Apparently they didn't keep scrap paper near their phone, because when it was returned it had a name and phone number written on the first page. Thanks for writing in my new book, jerk.

Travolta Says Relax

This one's for you, Monkey..... "Let Her In" was a big hit for John Travolta. Teenage girls swooned and dreamed that they were the one that John would let in his life. I'll bet a lot of them even kissed the 45 sleeve as they danced around their bedrooms dreaming they'd one day be Mrs. John Travolta. Just for the record, I wasn't one of them. I thought he was a twit.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Meet the new Jan Brady

I only have two things left from my 1973 membership in the Brady Bunch Fan Club. This is one of them.

Oh we've got a great big convoy...

Yikes! If there's one thing worse than a movie that's based on the three minute novelty song Convoy by C.W. McCall, it's a novel based on the movie that's based on the song. Who knew so much horror could come from a spoken word record about cb lingo?

Dig This, Osmond Lover!

I have so many questions...

  1. What was Donny thinking?
  2. Was he trying out for the remake of Willie Wonka twenty nine years early?
  3. Did he have any clue that singing a disco song about a boy from Utah who stays out late to listen to an old man auctioneer would be something that would alienate almost any listener? Who in his target audience can identify with that?
  4. Why does the song "Disco Train" sound like the 60s song Alley Oop, and not even remotely like disco?

Even harder for fans to identify with was Donny's follow up album, "Radioactive Plutonium Train" in which a hairless Donny tries to remain standing without his brittle bones breaking in half.

Monday, July 25, 2005

The Five Stages of Nostalgia

  1. Joy - Wow, I remember this!
  2. Disbelief - This can't be it. Did I really like this?
  3. Defensiveness - Everyone had them. My mom bought it for me. I didn't really want it.
  4. Acceptance - It might not be exactly how I remember, but it's still neat.
  5. Enthusiasm - Hey, look at this!