You'll Die Laughing...Uh No I Won't

As a child in the seventies, I spent much of my allowance on bubblegum cards. And what could be more appealing to a kid than bubblegum cards with monsters on them? Nothing! Not one damn thing. At least that was the initial thought in my young mind when I picked up a pack of "You'll Die Laughing" monster cards.

However once I opened the waxy paper pack and breathed in the lovely smell of the hard rectangle of pink bubblegum, one thing became readily apparent. The cards were much cooler before I actually looked at them.
It's an awesome classic wolfman photo, hooray!! But what's that say under his photo? Hair restorer?

Even as a kid, I didn't think that was even remotely funny. I'm not sure if it's really just not funny, if it's more a 1950s kind of funny, or if it's because when I was about ten my dad said, "Hey kids, there's this new show that's supposed to be really funny. It's called Monty Pythons Flying Circus." That definitely ruined me for white bread comedy.
This photo still creeps me out. Nothing funny about a skinless guy wondering why a girl has rejected him. In fact, I give Susan a lot of credit for trying to let him down easy, rather than immediately running away, screaming in horror. Susan is so thoughtful.
I can't even think of anything to say about the Creature from the Black Lagoon singing opera.
So the concierge comes into the room, sees the bloody remains of the woman who rented the room last night and politely asks her skeleton to leave. The fact that he is unphased by this type of scene makes me wonder what condition he normally finds the hotel guests in. He scares me.
And as if the lines on the front of the cards weren't bad enough, we get more jokes on the backs of the cards.

Not trying to rain on anyone's parade here, but kids love monsters. So why not give them cool photos without the unfunny lines underneath them. I only bought one pack of these cards because of those damn Vegas jokes under the cool monster photos.