Archie - Bubblegum yes, Comic Books no

Everything's Archie? If thats true, then I'm outta here. I used to read Archie comics and watch the cartoon, but I never really liked it or thought it was funny. However, I do actually like their sweet bubblegum music.

The Bionic Santa

It's called the Kris Kringle Caper, but only the story on the first side seems to have anything to do with Santa. Also it's a bit disconcerting to listen to since the voices do not sound like either Steve or Oscar. But perhaps most disturbing of all is the little Steve drawing on the label looks a kind of sinister.

Dukes of Hazzard in Space

Lorne Green's head looks huge in this photo. You ever notice how tv shows with two young male leads always have one guy with brown hair and one with blonde hair? Then they throw in old guys with huge heads to appeal to children and grandmas.

Big Jim will Kill You

Big Jim's P.A.C.K.? It stands for Professional Agents/Crime Killers. Yipes! They seem kind of violent. I never knew anyone who had one of these. The kids I knew had Johnny West or G.I. Joe instead.

Use Cards, They're Cheaper and Don't Invite Ridicule

We didn't need no stinkin' glow spokes. We attached playing cards to our back wheels with clothes pins so they'd sound like a motorcycle...well, to a kid it sounds that way. The ad shows a teenage boy with Glow Spokes on his wheels and talks about their "dazzling display of color." But I'd be willing to bet that any boy who put these on his bike would be taunted so unmercifully that the things would be in the trash by the end of the day.

I am ready to operate on interplanetary visitors

I got this as a gift for Christmas 1977. I was really excited. I opened it up, flipped through it, and then thought "what the hell am I going to do with this?"

Nope, This Isn't Scary At All for a Little Kid

As a kid I always thought these were 3D monsters, but if you read the fine print it says it's on "durable polyetheline." It also says it has glow in the dark eyes. Is there any kid in their right mind who wouldn't be terrified when they went to bed and saw lifesize glowing eyes across the room? Geez, I had a Frankenstein model with glow in the dark head and hands that I had to put it in the closet every night. It was so spooky it made my heart pound like a jackhammer.

The Amazing Spiderman vs the Nazis

Hey look! It's the little blonde von Trapp boy from the Song of Music film, and he's all grown up! He's....the Amazing Spiderman?! Another super hero show that I used to watch, but wasn't all that enamored with - I guess no one else was either as it only lasted a year.

Creepy Dads Love the Easy Bake Oven!

Does anyone else think it's kind of creepy for a Dad to be lurking in a dark room watching his young daughter bake a cake?

Jimmy McNichol and Lorenzo Lamas = failure

Hey, remember that show California Fever? Me neither, even though I'm pretty sure I watched it. It starred Lorenzo Lamas as a health food store owner (!?) and Jimmy McNichol (Kristy's brother) as a guy who had a band. It was only on from September to December 1979. The show did have a great theme song though - one of those catchy bubblegum tunes along the lines of Richie Brokelman, Private Eye...which no one probably remembers either.