Friday, August 19, 2005

Hey kids, you too can attack Cuba!















Can someone explain this to me? It's supposed to be a working nuclear sub. The ad talks about the hours of imaginative fun you can have diving, surfacing, maneuvering, watching peole through the periscope, and releasing nuclear missles and torpedos?!?! It's "sturdily constructed of 200lb test material." So what does that mean? The thing is 7 feet long and can seat two kids. So does "imaginative fun" really mean that you have to imagine you're in the water? Did kids actually tool around the lake with this thing? Did some idiot kids decide to take it out to sea and have it disintegrate? It just looks like a lawsuit waiting to happen.

6 comments:

MrBaliHai said...

Chris, I ordered one of these when I was 9 or 10. It was a corrugated cardboard box with a picture of a sub silkscreened on the sides. There were no working controls, periscope, or electrical control panel.

I was so angry at being ripped off that I cried all day, and then felt incredibly stupid for falling for such an obvious too-good-to-be-true ripoff.

If there's a special hell for people that perpetrate fraud on kids, this company should burn in it.

Jimmy said...

I saw one being piloted by a Sean Connery look-alike and using a caterpiller drive.

Monkey's Pathetic Human said...

If there's a special hell for people that perpetrate fraud on kids, this company should burn in it.

I feel your pain Mr. Balihai. I was tormented for years by makers of Cereal Toys.

Chris Jart said...

It was cardboard? Aaaarrgghh!! That's just wrong. Oh god, and a picture of a sub silk screened on the side? That's so ridiculous it's making me slightly hysterical. I guess in the 1970s advertising could flagrantly lie to kids and get away with it. I knew it had to be too good to be true. How sad. Truly their money made on children's tears will send them straight to Satan.

Dave S. said...

Good post...

Alas, my buddy Everett got one of these things...we were crushed! I know that the companion item "The Tank" was similarly cardboard...

Tune in over at Scott Saavedra's Comic Book Heaven blog to read the story of my burn-o-rama from the Monster Fan Club, which included the "Life Size Moon Monster!" -- remember that ubiquitous ad?

Collin said...

I wanted one of those so bad even though I was nowhere near a body of water larger than my bathtub. All in all, that's probably a good thing. I would have no doubt ridden my cardboard sub to a watery grave.